so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
