This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
