Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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