I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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