do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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