Cold hands, warm shart.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
