I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
