I CAN MOONWALK!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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