THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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