Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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