You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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