Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize