turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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