i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
