Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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