yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
