apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize