please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
