You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize