College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
