She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
