why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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