Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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