I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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