someone threw a dead crab at me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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