Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
