tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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