I haven't been this sober since birth.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize