boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
