She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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