I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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