You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize