What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
