Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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(815): View more from Illinois

What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

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(209): View more from California

i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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(210): View more from Texas

I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer

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(708): View more from Illinois

Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.

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