So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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