dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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