One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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