Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
