You're so nebulous sometimes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i need some magic done to my vagina
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
