babies were throwing up all over the place
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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