I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
