Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
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THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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