Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had sex on a roof
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
