It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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