i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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