He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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