i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I AM VODKA MAN
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
