fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
