we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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