I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
