Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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