I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
