I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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