I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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