so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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