I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
