Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
