and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
