what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
