i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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