if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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